This morning, on my way to work, I stopped by my parent’s home as I often do. On my way out of the door, in the mix of goodbyes, my mom said 5 words that literally brought me to tears… I Am Proud Of You It wasn’t her first time saying those words. My mother says it almost all the time but this morning felt different. This morning, I was reminded that no matter how strong, successful and confident we are…we’re still human and with that comes moments of self doubt. No, I don’t need my mother to express her pride for me to feel good about myself but in moments such as this…when I’m really questioning myself, her words of assurance helped to breathe life back into my steps. Today, while hanging signs for our student media fair, I found myself thinking of one of my former students…Edgar. It was as if the world flipped a switch on him one day as he continued to rise to the occasion against all of society’s doubts. He was coming to school early, staying late, studying for exams and doing homework. If you knew anything about him at all prior to these actions, you would wonder what in the world was different about him too. One day, I asked him what his new motivation was and his reply was astounding. He said… "Miss, you told me that you were proud of me and I didn’t want to let you down." This was, without a doubt, an emotional moment as I honestly didn’t even remember saying it but he did and that’s what mattered. I then assured him that I would always be proud of him, even in his mistakes. He didn’t have a thing to prove to me. The only person that he needed to make proud was himself. So, I asked him…"Are you proud of YOU?" To that, he looked at me and replied…Yes. It was his first time acknowledging that fact. Are You Proud Of You? I am not perfect, by any means, but I try to lead a life of integrity and grace. I fail often and even in those moments, I always find a way to bounce back. I am terrible at keeping track of tasks but I recognize that and am purposeful in trying to stay afloat. I am deeply honest with myself in good and in bad. I love with all of my heart and try to maintain composure in the face of moments that make zero sense. I get frustrated. Sometimes I even get upset and for that I have great friends that help me keep myself together. I am strong in my faith and even stronger in loving many whose faith differs from my own. Everyday, I have one goal…to be stronger than I was the day before and on most days, I meet that goal with flair. As I reflect more on this morning, it wasn’t just the words from my mother that brought me to tears. It was the realization that our thoughts were echoes of each other. I Am Proud Of Myself Sometimes, all we need is assurance.

Yesterday I was one of two creative leap speakers at the edulounge sponsored by Classflow (Promethean). The event itself appealed to me because it was a day to celebrate educators…our stories and contributions. It appealed to me before I even knew that Promethean sponsored it and yet I still participated. How would sharing our story…Braeden’s story…hurt? See, I am a SMART exemplary educator, which I have been for years. SMART & Promethean are direct competitors in terms of IWB and software. I still stand by SMART notebook as the standard in terms of interactive software….period. The thing is…I didn’t even care or consider who the sponsor was when I signed up. I did it because of the opportunity to share. I did it because the event itself spoke to the core of who I am…an educator. Yesterday, as I was driving away…happily basking in the glow of my accomplishment (public speaking), I was immediately brought back down to earth by words that in essence stated that I damaged my "brand", was being an "opportunist" and basically should have steered clear of that "competitor sponsored" event. I’ve never felt more hurt in my life. To be clear…a google certified teacher can be an apple distinguished educator…and vice versa. Honors and advocacy sometimes overlap. However, a SMART exemplary educator & whatever the heck Promethean teachers are…cannot. (Interesting that the edulounge keynote was sought after last year at ISTE to be in the vicinity of the SMART showcase room…invited to an event that none of us were…other than Erin Klein(also a SEE) who was also tweeting tidbits from this same event…but that’s ok because at least she wasn’t in the room) Yet, I can’t speak because Promethean’s name is on the wall? I wasn’t at the edulounge to be a brand advocate. I was there to tell a story and by all accounts, I did that with fidelity and honor. I am not employed by SMART nor am I under any kind of contract. I am a part of a community of teachers and I’ve enjoyed connecting with them over the years. Today, I was basically told that maybe I’ve outgrown this group. Interesting. I stand behind my decision to share our story because I refuse to allow any company to dictate where I can and cannot go. Classflow sponsored an event for teachers where the event focused on Educators and not product. I respect that wholeheartedly. I’m not "business illiterate" and I get that the product was there & in full view of selling itself. However, at the end of the day…there was a stage. There was a space and I stepped into it. I would do it over again. That 5 minute speech doesn’t define me and neither does any edtech brand…period. However, that 5 minute speech earned me full travel to ISTE…a trip that I would have been covering from my own pocket. (I’m a single mother with a kid in college…building a house. Do the math) Call me an opportunist if you will. In my opinion, I’m just SMART.

One thing that I’ve learned along the way in my career is that there is nothing more important than the relationships that we build. I’ve been fortunate to have made quite a few strong ones along the way through my affiliation with SMART…even before I joined the SMART exemplary educator community. What most people find odd about the event that led to my first brand advocacy post…was actually normal because when one has a strong relationship…there is an understood comfort in being exceptionally honest. We need more of that. While I was basking in the glow of a great "moment", and rightfully so, I didn’t want to hear anything beyond the positive. I wanted to be just as proud of me as my family was and any communication beyond that pride would not…could not be taken in any way but negative. So, when I got the call that in essence brought me back to earth, I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear. I didn’t want to hear the truth about sponsored events…that even without a mention of product…there is ALWAYS an undertone and purpose of "product". I didn’t want to hear that a "5-minute" talk is never really just a "5-minute" talk but one that lives on repeatedly through video playback. I didn’t want to hear the business side of edtech while I was focusing on the passion of who I am…an educator. The reality of what we do is that there is ALWAYS a corporate drawback and in this moment, my "unofficial mentor" was mentoring yet again…by showing me the parts that I did not want to see. The thing is…I needed to see. The relationship that I have with SMART extends well beyond boards and software. For me, it was and is about people. My path into edtech began with SMART as I sat in a training, not listening…exploring on my own. I was more enamored with the speaker, herself because she was fantastic and I wanted to do that too. Over the years, that same person mentored me through trainings, made sure that my name was on the lips of conference planners and also made sure that I was in the path of any opportunities that would fit my goals…in and out of SMART. When I decided to leave the classroom, it was her that I consulted and she said…knowing that the school I was entering was void of any technology…"follow your heart"…and so I did. I am a SMART Exemplary educator and voice in our SEE community. I’m heading to Canada this summer where I will, no doubt, be under NDA with SMART. I could not, in good faith, accept a trip to ISTE funded by SMART’s biggest competitor. That’s just odd. What I learned in all of this drama is that relationships lend themselves to understanding when caring parties can sit down to listen. The fact of the matter is that my being in that space Saturday was bigger than the story that I was sharing. I looked at a list of panelist and saw a panel of educators that I have great respect for…while missing something that fuels me from deep within…diversity. So, of course I wanted to be at that event. I NEEDED to be at that event and I’m still proud that I did it. Thankfully, the people at SMART heard me too. So, while I will NOT be at ISTE under the umbrella of a SMART competitor, I will be there…but with a group that I have a relationship with…SMART. SMART’s message to me was "We believe you and want to support your goals". It wouldn’t be SMART to not let them. When you have a relationship that extends beyond product…those words matter more than anything.

A few weeks ago I sat next to a middle school student as he was brainstorming his ideas for his genius hour project. His task was to come up with a question that he could solve. His question… "Why do things in life just happen?" My heart literally dropped at that moment because I could feel that there was so much going on behind that question. We ask that students explore and deal with real life problems. We think that we have a solid footing on what those problems are but we don’t. Not every issue that kids have will be solved with a device. Sometimes their "real life" is different from our own and sometimes it really isn’t. The difference is that we are more than likely equipped with a set of skills that kids don’t yet have…how to deal. Now, before you start getting all "gritty" on me…understand that when I say, "how to deal", I mean that we are more than likely better at masking our issues than kids are. We sometimes have them but we are better about hiding them. On this day, this kid was asked to come up with a question that was burning inside of him. This question…his question…has haunted me since. I thought about my own son and the issues that he is dealing with. He doesn’t express them but in my mind he has to feel them.  I wonder how our struggles are affecting him. I wonder how the rejection of his father will manifest itself. In some cases, maybe it has. Will it get worse? Will he have a burning question inside of him one day too? Will anyone, other than me, care enough to ask? How will they react? I watched my son craft a family tree for his spanish class…leaving off any mention of his father. I’m hoping that his teacher doesn’t penalize him for that as his reasons for leaving that part out are not a reflection of a student "half doing" his work but of a son disconnecting from his former reality. I didn’t email his teacher. Maybe I should’ve. Then again, how many of our kids are dealing with this daily…no alert from home. When we talk "real world", I hope that we understand that for some kids "real world" is all too real. Real life is much deeper than the questions that we ask in school and even deeper than those that we deem as acceptable from kids. Real life is bigger than choosing the right device or app….much bigger. Back to that student’s question…"Why do things in life just happen?" Because sometimes life just…is

A few weeks ago, I took a gamble and applied to the Google Teacher Academy in Atlanta. I knew going in that being chosen was a long shot as there were only 35 slots but I wanted to go for it because eventually, I wanted to apply to the academy in Austin…a more realistic "local" location. I even reflected on the process…here. So, to be clear…I NEVER considered myself a "real" contender to get in which, as I write this…maybe that was my first mistake Fast forward to yesterday…my friend Beth Still reminded me on Facebook that today was coming. Tweets were rampant with excitement from others that applied. All of a sudden, that "thing" that I wasn’t thinking about was slapping me dead in the face and then I made mistake #2…I allowed myself to think that maybe…just maybe…I could get in. (I’m annoyed at myself for even thinking this way as I type) So, I spent a great part of my day…while in training for our district instructional model roll out…checking email and twitter for a sign that notifications went out. I got nervous and all of a sudden, I felt myself caring about THIS application…the one that was NOT supposed to count. I checked my email and read… Thank you for recently applying to the Google Teacher Academy. We’re sorry to inform that you were not selected to attend. We appreciate the time and effort that you committed to this application. Even though only a small number of applicants can be accepted, we know each applicant is a dedicated and innovative leader in education. Thank you for your service to your students and colleagues. We hope that you’ll consider applying for another academy, and wish you luck in your continued endeavors to create positive change through education in your community. Cheers and best, The Google Teacher Academy Team I read this but all I that I heard was the Charlie Brown teacher after sentence 2 which in my mind translated into… "Dear Rafranz, Thank you for applying to our super special society but I’m sorry…You suck…Goodbye!" Yep…for about 1.25 minutes…that’s how I felt. (mistake #3) Then… I remembered who I was and what I stand for and then my pity party ended. I talked to my director, a GCT and she explained that the rubric follows the application requirements. I saw others post advice like…"consult with a GCT before hitting submit"… which I did, ironically. I went back and forth debating about repeating this process again for Austin but then I remembered that I had no idea what I needed to work on. Was it my video? Was it my resume? Was it my reflective questions? What was it? (I’ll keep it real…I’m sure that it was the video…I think) The thing is…how am I supposed to know what to address without feedback. It’s interesting that doing this would be frowned upon in the classroom yet there is no GTA application feedback? So, I’m supposed to go into this thing blind again? Interesting, but then again, this is a "super special society" so…yeah Dear Rafranz, (In case you forgot…let me remind you of who you are and what YOU do) You work in a district of over 65,000 students and you are personally responsible for supporting learning for over 500 teachers and their students. Technically, your job title is "Instructional Technology Specialist" but like your good friend Kristy Vincent reminded you, your mindset is so far away from thinking in terms of tools alone.  YOU support learning. In a district that is currently undergoing a major overhaul in instruction, the tools come in handy to make learning accessible, equitable and transformative. In addition, YOU are a learner who fully immerses yourself in reflective as well as social learning environments that challenge you to grow which is even more amazing because part of your growth is an understood responsibility to share. You don’t need three letters behind your name to do the things that you do. You don’t need to wait for an academy in order to learn. This is a choice. You want to do this. As you remind your children often..there is a huge difference between NEED and WANT. So, hear me and hear me well. Do not sit here and allow yourself to be defined NOW or in the future by any of the opportunities that you earn or fail to earn. You know better and guess what…YOU DO NOT SUCK. Signed… Your Rational Self PS: Before you even consider applying again, reflect on your purpose and decide if this truly matters to you and your own personal growth. Also, remember that a "no" has never been okay in any aspect of your life so don’t start letting it be okay now. If you want Austin to be a "thing"…make it happen. #thatisall    

Yesterday was pity party and reflect day over my failed Google Teacher Academy attempt. This morning, I’m reflecting on perspective…and a few handy thoughts on Growth… Rule #1 Be a Radical Learner My cousin, Wykesha Hayes, posted this thought on Facebook today and I captured it. She said… "I’ve reached many goals in life…and I have also failed at attempting many things as well. The one thing that I can confidently say however, is that my EGO is too big to quit trying. I want to try something radical…EXTREMELY RADICAL. When you want radical results, you attempt radical things." Not every person can be chosen and even if you are amazing, you still may not be. KNOW THAT and don’t be discouraged by it. Be motivated by it. What can you do to be a better you and to communicate your ideas in such a way that there is no denying your entry into a door. It’s not about the "tags behind the name" but about the potential to be the best YOU that you can possibly be. Rule #2 Be exceptionally proud of YOURSELF and your accomplishments This summer, I applied for so many things and I kept "winning"…kept being "chosen". I was motivated by that. For example, I’m presenting at both Idesign Coppell and Ipadpalooza in the same week. I’m going to Discovery Ed Summer Institute in Tennessee followed by Calgary to the SMART Exemplary Educator Global Summit. Last week, while away to present three sessions at the Texas Google Summit, I received the alert that my Ignite proposal was accepted and I’m scheduled to present during the opening session. THAT was huge because my session proposals were denied. (They were last minute and bad. They most certainly should have been denied) That "ISTE NO" motivated me even more to have an "Ignite" Yes…and I did… Rule #3 Be just as motivated by NO as you are by YES "No" doesn’t mean failure. It just means "not right now" and "not in this way" but to me, it’s not an end. It’s a redirection to repurpose my thoughts into something different. What else can I focus on? Where can I be better? Start there. For me, that is in my current job. Ironically, we have Google Academy in my district the same week at GTA. I’ll be in Texas leading professional development with the rest of my team and helping teachers understand how to best integrate their google apps into their professional lives and classrooms. What else is better than that??? Rule #4 Be honest with yourself and expect honesty from others This experience would not be an area of growth for me if I didn’t see my own weaknesses. It would also suck if those around me weren’t honest too. At the same token, just as much as I can be honest in my weaknesses, I also have to recognize my strengths and contributions. That part is just as critical. I am not perfect. I am not "the best in the game" but I am the best me who also has an exceptional amount of space to be better. Growth in all areas is warranted. You just need to be radically proactive in doing so. In case you missed it…Please check this post out by Jose Vilson. It was perfect at the right moment.  

So this happened… My son reads my blog which is kind of cool. Today, I walked in to the house to a nice "talking to" about rejection. His words… "I know how you feel about that rejection thing you wrote about. I mean, I think that being rejected by a parent is just a bit more serious but I feel you." So yeah…there’s that. There is really nothing greater than a nice reality check moment. My Son…My Hero About a two months ago, my ex husband started throwing hints that he wanted "OUT" of my son’s life. It was the oddest thing to even have to discuss because for 14 years, while he was a terrible husband…he was a great father. Unfortunately, as adults sometimes do…He met a lady and her kids. She disliked my son and he was given the boot for good. About a month ago, as I took my son to grab a few things from his dad’s…he walked in to seeing that his dad packed all of his things into trash bags. 7 bags of memories…I’ve never seen him as upset as he was that night. As traumatic as that night was, I’ve seen my child bounce back embracing his new reality. There have been bumps along the way, of course, but he’s a trooper. At 14 years old, my son wakes up everyday and goes about life as if nothing is wrong. He’s surrounded by love, encouragement and the REAL reality that he’s going to be ok. His words…"He doesn’t want me. He’s done as far as I’m concerned. I don’t need him. I’m good." My son is a pillar of strength…my rock. He’s going to be just fine. Crazy how upset we get sometimes over the little things… All of sudden…my little tech issues are nothing.    

We are all learners! Today I decided to embark on a new journey of growth. My challenge is to see how much I can learn in 30 days or between now and #iste2014. (Yes it’s 30+ days, but bear with me people) This is not just a challenge about learning. It’s a challenge about sharing it. So, everyday My goal is to learn something new and share it with you! It may be a video, blog post, Instagram image or whatever! The possibilities are endless! It may not even be technology. (Trust me, if I learn to cook a new meal, my family would be proud) I just love learning…and sharing! And in the words of the artist formerly known as Hannah Montana… When you learn and share, you’re doing the best of both worlds! (If there is an award for cheesiness, I win!) So, dust off that brain. Bring out that blog and grow with me! It’s only 2 steps! 1. Learn something new. 2. Share it. Simple

Today, as promised, I embarked on my journey of learning something new daily. I will admit to being unsure of where to start today. I even began a lesson on Lynda.com, about storytelling. Although I did learn a thing or two, I decided against making that moment my learning moment. Then, I was tagged on Google+ by Boris Berljin, an educator from the Netherlands, telling me how he wrote a blog post about presenting on social media at a conference and referenced one of my postings from Instagram. This excited me because the post was in dutch and that gave me a reason to crank out Google translate. My Google Translate "Aha" Moment     I was so excited that once I translated Boris’ article, I learned a new thing about Google translate in blogger or probably any platform by google…I presume. We all know that google translate isn’t always as accurate as we like which meant that some sentences didn’t exactly make sense in English. Did you know that when you highlight text, you can actually "contribute" to the correct translation? What’s cool is that it doesn’t just change on screen. Boris now gets to approve my translation which set off a gazillion instructional idea alarms in my head. I thought of language classes where teachers and students post in one language, translate and use the "suggest" feature to submit corrections. I’ve never seen this so I was super excited. I even grabbed a screen shot because…hello…I planned to share this as my learning moment. Then…I made it back to my hometown. I saw my "edtech dad" sporting his Sophia shirt and I took one look at him and knew what I needed to say. I said… "Dad, is there anything that you can teach me?" After explaining my challenge and turning down his first offer of mowing the lawn, I fully accepted his brilliant offer to teach me some basics about my car. Today’s lesson was about changing the oil which I needed to learn. As independent as I am, I rely on the "experts" at the body shop to do this for me. Why do we do that? I found that my dad was eager to teach me something as this is a rare occurrence. It also gave us much needed time to bond. I watched my father come alive in a way that I had not seen. It reminded me of students and giving them a platform to teach as well. We could stand to do that a bit more I think. I will say that teaching me pumped him up so much that I captured about 7 minutes of conversation that I condensed down to 1:30. My dad is a passionate teacher. Maybe I got a little bit of that bug from him too. By the time that I "conclude" this journey, maybe…just maybe…I may even become a much better digital storyteller. Right now, I’m just happy to know how to check my car and also where to put the oil. What did you learn today? Where can I learn it?

Our little "in house" creator, Braeden is working on a new puppet. Inspired by Steve Axtell‘s Shaggy Mountain Dog Puppet, Braeden decided to make a shaggy dog…a yellow one. So, he started his process of making patterns, bonding foam, making eyes and envisioning the puppet that he wants. In one night, he sewed his foundation and excitedly showed all of us. I took pictures and video as always. It’s kind of our "thing" because I am still amazed at him…even after all that he has done. Like always, Braeden took the dog to show my mother, who replied with a very predictable and immediate… "Braeden, dogs are not yellow. Why would you make him yellow?" Braeden, of course, retorted…"Granny, it’s a puppet, MY puppet and he’s yellow!" Dear Adults…Step Away from the Child…Unless You Are Encouraging My mother is super creative in her own right. She also makes mind blowing amazing things but not in the same way as Braeden. The creator in her wants to tell him how he should see the world and she does this often. For any other child, these moments would be completely and totally hindering. The difference is that Braeden is just as stubborn as she is so he makes yellow dogs, pink bunnies and even blue humans…regardless of the criticism. We love that about him and encourage it. My mother isn’t purposefully discouraging Braeden from being creative. She’s coming from a place of being a teacher. She wants to teach him…to help him so that he can be better but it’s hard for her to understand his vision and separate her own ideas from it. I saw a question posted on twitter about barriers to creativity and another posted later with ideas to remove barriers. Here it is below.   Overcoming barriers to creativity #iwestcreate pic.twitter.com/xQ5hFizddy — Christine Lederer (@KeeneeLou) May 24, 2014 I’ve said it a million times that we are born into this world naturally creative. We learned by using our senses. We touched, pulled, tasted, built and fumbled until we figured things out. At some point, someone made us sit on a rug, put our fingers to our mouths and color between the lines…over and over again. If we really want kids to be more creative, we’ve got to take ourselves out of the equation. We’ve got to step back and let them field their way through as we encourage, support and enjoy. If they need our help, we’ll be there but it’s important that what kids create is of their own making. After all, wouldn’t the world be much better if we had many more yellow dogs? In case you’re wondering…Below is the Shaggy Mountain dog that inspired Braeden. (One might confuse this with being an example. I call it inspiration)