In the moments and days after speaking at ISTE, I had many great conversations with teachers of color that I encountered. We chatted about everything from where we were from to job responsibilities and session topics if we were speaking. As the conversation steered to the Ignite speech…as if that were different than an actual session…the response was 98% of the time…"I could not have done that!" My response… Why not? To be fair, I was also asked how I was able to do that and if I had to submit a proposal. We all did and that is where being connected comes into play. As ISTE arrives, you follow the tweets…click the link and submit an idea. To be really helpful, ISTE even sends an email which leads to the exact same place. The Boundaries That We Place in Our Way My parents raised me to so see no boundaries even when they were there. To be clear, I’m no dummy when it comes to the visible constraints of color in edtech but I choose to believe in my own gifts and passions over those walls. I also choose to believe that the word "no" doesn’t exist unless I allow it so if there is a door in my way, I’ll knock that sucker down before allowing it to keep me from my goals. In the case of speaking at events, that door can be as simple as an application or a proposal and to not apply is not an option. As a matter of fact, I submitted a very sub-par proposal to present a session on rethinking PD at ISTE which was denied (as it should’ve been). Applying for the Ignite was always on my list of things to do and not just because I am a woman of color but because I am a person with very specific goals and I knew that Braeden’s story was one that needed to be shared in the way that it was. With that said, I fully understood the magnitude of speaking as I encountered more teachers like me who never saw doing so as an option. I lost count of the number of times that people of color told me that they now felt that they could do it because they saw me there and were empowered. (#eduwin) I am deeply honored by that because I know what that feeling is like. I also understand what moving beyond that feeling is like because regardless of race or gender, when I see someone doing something that I KNOW that I am capable of…I always feel that I can do the same and then I begin the steps of getting there. I’m not going to say that boundaries do not exist because they do. Anytime an "acceptance committee" has an unwritten rule of "are they known", that is almost certainly exclusive because the "known" are too often NOT "us". While we cannot control that part, we can control what and how we propose to be heard. We can push the boundaries anyway because what we have is of value and must be a part of the conversation. If leading/speaking is something that you want to do, you make it happen by making your case so great that it is undeniable. Choose a platform that you are passionate about because THAT is what separates a subpar discussion from an amazing one. When that door opens, kill it so well that it will NEVER be closed again. When it’s open, make sure that you share the process and leave it open for the next person to walk through. That is how real change happens. See no limits or boundaries on your capabilities. Truthfully…there are none. Everyone has to start somewhere. It almost always starts with a proposal… Why not you?

While at ISTE, I found myself drawn to watching two different Ron Clark Academy Classrooms in action. I’ve seen the videos but this face to face interaction was different. As a matter of fact, I found myself so removed from the fact that I was at a technology conference that I nearly forgot that I had a plane to catch and needed to leave that space. I became a fan of Dr. Camille Jones when I saw postings of her taking her class to experience geometry by playing pool…just like the animated scene in Donald Duck in Mathmagic Land. This was a part of their Atlanta Real World Class where the city of Atlanta became their classroom. (Such a great idea!!) I didn’t expect to see her and to be able to share my admiration of her work was something that I am honored to have done. She’s THAT great. To be fair, she and Mr. Clark where there to model the use of a vendor product, but it was the connections beyond the product that drew me in. I watched as children, that mirrored my own child, were excited about presenting how they learn. I saw teachers and staff connecting with kids so fluidly that any observer could feel that the most important aspect of their teaching…of any teaching…is in the relationships built. For an hour, while watching the "vendor demo" that was much more than a demo, I felt myself feeling the pangs of wanting to be back in my classroom with my students…not to replicate RCA but to help my own kids see themselves for who they were/are…Beautifully Brilliant. My gosh, I miss my students! To the vendor that laid out the RCA red carpet, thank you because in that moment, while on that vendor floor…smothered by the push and pull of chords and devices…I needed that hour of inspiration. I needed to tell Dr. Jones how seeing her for the brief moments that I did meant the world. She has no idea how much she inspired my own teaching. On a personal note, Ron Clark is my son’s favorite teacher. He even read the book. Of all the things that I could’ve brought back from Atlanta…that snapshot meant more than anything that money could buy. For him, Mr. Clark is the teacher that he always wanted…but never had. It’s definitely not the technology that forges connections but the relationships that we build and how we inspire growth from deep within. You can’t put a price on that as it is an invaluable skill and feeling. In that one hour…I experienced engagement in ways that I haven’t done in years. It’s a feeling that I can barely explain in words. Maybe I just did…    

When I was a high school dance team member, my mother used to do something every Friday night during our football games. She would wait until the perfect moment of silence that occurred right before the band started our song and yell so loud so that the entire stadium could hear… "Smile baby! Act like you own the place!" I remember waiting for that moment and until two days ago, right before I started my RSCON5 keynote, I completely forgot what that moment felt like. There was a moment of quiet right before I began and I just happened to look in the comment box before we started recording. My mother, just as she did before our HS dance team routines started, typed… "Smile baby! Act like you…" She didn’t have to complete the rest of that sentence. I knew. In that moment, I was taken back to our Friday Night Lights. I was that girl on the field…nervously waiting to perform and thinking my way through my steps. It was my mother’s voice that calmed me down and reminded me that I would be ok. In that moment, right before speaking in an online conference…my mother, in the way that she has always done, found a way to let me know that she was there and that no matter how I "performed", I was walking in the shadows of my own self which meant that no matter what…I would do just fine. You Are Supported Professionally, I have attended book openings, sessions and keynotes given by friends…not just to learn but also to show them that they were not alone. We all need to feel supported. My mother taught me that. There is something that is calming when you look into the audience across the room and see your friends or family there waiting to support you. I experienced this before I spoke at ISTE. While I could not necessarily see my friends in the audience, they tweeted me messages and images with each one providing a much needed sense of calm. As a matter of fact, that morning, I spoke to Dennis Grice (one of a gazillion Discovery Education Friends). I told him that smiles made me happy and calmed my nerves. He literally took out a huge smiley face and gave it to me. I snapped the image below right before the doors of the auditorium were opened. Moments before the Ignite session began, I looked down at my phone and saw this tweet. Sending the happy to all the Ignite presenters today. #ISTE2014 pic.twitter.com/oSVC1L4wsn — Dennis Grice (@dgrice) June 28, 2014 That moment was everything and even as I write this, it’s amazing how my mother’s words were even present within this act from friends. We all need feel supported and as we navigate our way through the requirements of life, we must ask ourselves… How are you supporting your own family? How are you supporting your students? How are you supporting your friends? Sometimes "being there" can be the difference.  

When I decided that I wanted to attend the Discovery Ed Summer Institute again, my goal was to do something that I did not do that well last year…PARTICIPATE. I made sure to hang out more, talk more and play more. I’ve done that and I’m pretty proud. Yesterday was the DENmazing Race and while I’m on a path of "participation", I was honestly not that convinced to do something that could very well result in my death. (Yes, I said "death" because I’m totally being a 2 year old) The DENmazing race is an activity that sends teams on a journey of activities where games are structured and played kind of like an obstacle course. These activities are spread across the entire campus and people are crazy competitive to win. To say that this particular activity is intense…is putting it mildly. There is running…lots and lots of running…and falling…and sometimes even yelling! (Sorry Joli!) As insane as it sounds, I am all about "Getting uncomfortable" so when the opportunity presented itself to join a team…I did. I would not have done it had it not been for Joli Barker or Kate Nagle as both promised me that they would not let me die. (Again, 2 year old) The activities themselves were not that bad. They were fun actually. There was singing, acting, shooting, balloon tossing and even dancing. OK, I was NOT a fan of the silly dancing. Everyone has their "thing" that gives them great fear. This was mine!  Plus, I was so…so…so…tired! (So much running…really???) Oh, and I did NOT have my inhaler which I needed…bad! With that said, I allowed myself to participate and be uncomfortable and along the way, I accomplished a few things that I’m pretty proud of because for me…they were not easy. 1. I jump roped and not the "prissy" kind but the kind that I used to do as a kid. 2. I drank after someone. I am a germi-phobe and it was either drink or die. That was a HUGE accomplishment. (To be clear, I will not be doing this again) 3. I kind of danced to a really silly song and survived looking stupid. (I need to do this more) There are many things in life that make me pretty uncomfortable and that’s not a bad thing. Yesterday was important because it was my first time tackling something that is really and truly my worst nightmare come true. I needed to do that because by doing it, I can now add a 4th item to my list of accomplishments! 4. I survived my first DEN-mazing race!!!  

I’ve spent many moments this week at Discovery Education Summer Institute (DENSI2014) waiting to learn something new. I’ve even gone as far as questioning my being here this week and taking a spot from someone who "needed" to learn new information. I’ve had a blast connecting with friends, hanging out, participating in events and meeting new people but I allowed myself to get to a place of wondering…"Why?" Why me? Why am I here? We are all here with varying levels of ability and the one thing that I love is that each of us has something amazing to share. I’m sitting here now learning new ideas for using the Aurasma App from DEN Star, Peter Panico. He’s augmented his family photo album with pictures taken of his daughter throughout the year. He sent each of his family members their own photo album and through the app, they are able to experience the moments that they missed through augmented video. What’s cool about watching Peter passionately share this is that last year, Peter had zero technology. As a matter of fact, he showed up to DENsi2013 with a spiral notebook and a pen. He not only found value for the technology but purpose and he’s teaching everyone about it! How cool is that? A few moments ago, I finished a session on blogging with a group who had never blogged before. It was so cool sitting in that circle and not only sharing my journey into reflectiive blogging but also helping this fabulous group of teachers, fellow DEN Stars, get started. As a matter of fact, they all posted their very first blog postings today! They were all so excited to hit publish for the first time and I’ve never felt so at home as I did in that moment. One of those teachers, Kathleen Kelly, wrote her first post about fear. It was her "post publish" reaction that led me to the moment where I am now…where I "get" it. She wrote this and I encourage you all to visit her blog and comment: Fear of technology has held me back. I fight this fear every time I need to learn something new in technology. The Den has helped me chip away at this. I may be going slower, but I am and will get there. FIGHT THE FEAR.  THIS IS MY FIRST BLOG. Kathleen published and then found her way over to "appearance" after writing which enabled her to choose a theme. She chose the theme with birds because she liked them and the moment that she clicked to view her blog is the moment that this week came full circle for me. I can’t describe it in any other way but…Joy. It was the kind of joy that had a group of women sitting around a table in tears. I will never forget this moment. I no longer question why I am here. I am here for this. Joy  

In the beginning, before "twitter all-star" became a "thing" that isn’t a "thing", I was an educator sitting on the other end of the social space learning from folks, following them and getting super…super excited if/when they followed me back. It was as if the "follow" gave me a magic direct path into their thoughts because I knew that it meant that my words would appear on their timeline. Those moments brought me smiles and joy because in my mind, this "small act" was a small step in meeting these amazing people one day. I had no idea that this would actually become my reality and meeting them, my personal edu-heroes, brought me moments of great joy. Gosh, even thinking about it makes me smile. Yet… When other educators come up to me, offering words of admiration…I cringe. As a matter of fact, several teachers that I met at DENsi2014 expressed joy in our meeting and my following them back. Again, I cringed because in my mind, the thought was very much in the realm of… "Oh nooo…don’t be excited that I followed you back! It’s not that serious. Seriously? I’m sorry that I wasn’t following you earlier!! Me??? Really???" It’s odd that I can be perfectly fine with admiring others and uncomfortable with others admiring me. It’s as if I’ve unintentionally given myself permission to be negative about myself. The heck? The Road of Inspiration The road of inspiration should never be just a straight line from one person to the next. If we do it right, it’s almost circular with infinite amounts of intersections. I’m proud that I can inspire someone but what makes what we do even more amazing is that we are also constantly being inspired by others. I don’t want to live in a world where I am not excited about meeting another educator that I came to know via connecting. In saying that, I have to also be okay that others just might feel that way for me as well. This thought no longer makes me cringe. It brings me great joy. …the kind of joy where a "simple follow" is no longer "just" a follow but a connection to someone that inspires me. A wise friend, Vicki Davis, even passed on the perfect "Angela Lansbury" response to incoming admiration…. "Thank you. I do hope that I can continue to live up to your expectations" Let’s continue to admire each other. Let’s continue to be excited. Let’s continue to understand that in our field, inspiration is warranted. As a matter of fact, you never really understand the impact that you might have on someone else. We have to be able to share these emotional connections with each other. The beauty of these connections is that we all have been there and get to be on both sides of this circular road of inspiring. Now, excuse me while I go jump up and down because Yoda just followed me! PS… A few moments ago, one of the puppet builders that my nephew (@braedenart) admires and learns from, Jordan the Voices Guy (@jordanthevoicesguy) commented his work on instagram and followed on twitter. I imagine that when my nephew sees it, he’ll be beaming from ear to ear with excitement. I made a point to tweet Jordan and tell him what that small act, his words, meant to this little kid. I can also imagine Jordan’s smiles at hearing those encouraging words. Admiration is great as it encourages us all to continue to do great work. We should remember this. @RafranzDavis thank you! this really does mean a lot to me! — JordanTheVoicesGuy (@JordanVoicesGuy) July 20, 2014

It’s true, as that they, that you never really know how much you loved something until it’s gone. You also never realize how much you needed something until you no longer have it. I had to take a moment of pause this week as I was trying to explain what the DEN summer institute was. Yes, it’s sponsored by Discovery Education, an "edtech conglomerate" of sorts but to even classify this under "edtech" is almost insulting. It’s so much more than that…much like DE is much more than video. DENsi is really the week that we all needed at the moment that it happens. Year after year, many of use come to this realization during the moments of "unclosing" while generally bypassing these thoughts while we live it…such an odd thought. Earlier in the week, before the full event occurred, an admin "pre-attendee" commented that we were very much like a cult. I laughed at that statement because she really had no idea what this community was about because when you don’t know…that’s what you think. Imagine being in a place, surrounded by people who are just as weird as you in their passions for what they do. Imagine being in a place where in the face of so much negativity, there are smiles…hugs…laughter…tears. Imagine being in a place, where for a week, you get to leave all the problems of the world behind. You get to "not think" about the burdens of life that get you down. You get to lift up others. You get to build even stronger bonds of support. You get to share. You get to learn. This is what being at DENsi is like. It is the single most inspiring week of your entire life…if you are lucky enough to be there. Personally, this week was tough. So many things are occurring behind the scenes of my life and as much as I tried to live in the moments, there were times that I could not. I tried. I really did. As I settle upon my last few hours in Nashville, the digital story of the last week is playing steadily in my head and heart. It brings me great joy thinking about it. It brings me greater joy feeling it. Thank you to the entire Discovery Education team for bringing us all together. Thank you for being more that "suits in a company" but true ambassadors of learning. Thank you for loving and honoring teachers the way that you do day after day. And Dear Porter Palmer, I watched as you greeted each and every person by name. It didn’t matter if each person was newbie or a vet. You KNEW every face and I admire you even more for those moments as they meant the world to the person on the other side of your hugs. This is why you are THE DEN Princess. Gosh, I needed this week. PS… If you are reading this and you have a Discovery Education account and have NOT joined the DEN community, please do go fix that NOW. You’re missing out on connecting with thousands of passionate, innovative teachers. You’re also missing out on some of the greatest learning moments of your life that may just occur at the moment when you need it most. Until Next Time!  

I am not what one would call an the "average" teacher and if you are reading this, chances are…neither are you. It’s easy for me to rethink what the classroom should be and adjust accordingly. It’s a simple task for me to think outside of the box…far from the intended instructions and repurpose how we interact with tools for learning. I don’t see things as most people. Rules are meant to be broken. There is no such thing as "no" and permission is not something that I’m good at waiting for. Learning is my normal. This is not the norm… A few moments ago, I found myself arguing with myself against the use of a certain tool. For me, it wasn’t new…innovative or even necessary because I know how to use multiple tools to accomplish the task that this ONE tool accomplishes. I could not see beyond my own abilities. And then it hit me… I am NOT the norm. For teachers who are still struggling to be where I am, this tool may just be the "thing" needed for them to get there. Maybe this tool will help them to rethink their classrooms and in doing so accomplish much more than their norm. The point of this reflection is not in giving a single tool any credit for what great pedagogy is but in understanding my own thoughts…and limitations. As a "tech expert", it’s important that we see beyond what "we already do" and consider the implications on learning for teachers who are not us. I have to also be mindful of our weakest links for change…the teacher who is scared to death of change. That does not mean that I make decisions based on the weakest but that I consider that just because something is obvious to me does not mean that it is obvious to them. I am not the norm and now I’ll continue by looking through the lens of those that have yet to adopt the idea that different is good and must be worked towards. Doing this will enable me to think outside of my own box and into the spaces of others. To be clear, it’s not about the tool but about the thinking. In order to help teachers to rethink their beliefs, I have to start with rethinking my own. It’s time to walk around in their shoes.

The other day, in the lobby of our hotel, I stood beside a teacher from another country as he was requesting a folder from the hotel desk. I started a conversation with him and he told me that he wanted a folder for his certificate that he earned that day so that he could show his family. This certificate, the same one that is still currently crumbled in my backpack, meant the world to him. It was as if he had never earned one before. It occurred to me that maybe this was the case. He’ll now have a nice folio for his certificate and I shall un-crumble mine. Hours later, I sat in a room surrounded by teachers from all over the world as we engaged in a conversation while having our #smartee chat online. Together with Boris, from The Netherlands, we wrote 5 questions and with 10 minutes left…I was out of questions. So, I improvised and made question 6 this… If you could make one request for your classroom, what would it be? I asked teachers to think big! What would be the greatest wish for your classroom? I expected the answers to range from ipads to chromebooks and even smartboards since we were here for a SMART conference. As I checked the timeline of tweets, one teacher from South Africa said…Wifi. (I take this access for granted often) The biggest wish that she had for her students was for wifi. I repeated it out loud and pressed her further for response. She went on to say that each teacher there had to purchase their own "internet box" which gave teachers some form of internet connection. It was spotty at best but students had zero access. While she was speaking through tears, Warren Barkley, the CTO of SMART, leaned down and told her that SMART would make sure that her school had wifi. The entire room erupted in cheers because we all understood the difference that this gift would make for her students. The next morning, she stopped me to tell me that she sent messages to the students to tell them this amazing news. One student responded, "will this wifi only be for teachers?" We have many schools in the US without wifi but be also have a movement to provide access to our schools over the next several years. There is no movement such as this where this teacher teaches. This moment…this chat…THAT question… was critical for her and her students. I still get chills thinking about it. Last night, as I was moping around in despair over so many things, I sat to speak to another teacher from The Middle East. He reminded me of how significant it was to be there in that moment. He spoke about his duty to be a present leader for his family and how they depended on his success. It reminded me of my own and their pride in me. Today, I will smile because I am surrounded by people who connect me to what is important. Through the simplest of moments…the simplest of things…I am witnessing lives change and people connect. I am witnessing growth. Luckily, this includes my own growth too.  

A few years ago, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I would be leaving the classroom. I just knew. Yes, I’ve had many moments that sparked a certain desire to return but I know in my heart that a return isn’t on the horizon. More on this later… I’ve worked collaboratively with a few edtech companies through advocacy programs and in a majority of those cases, when it came to classrooms…edtech didn’t "get it". Marketing people within those organizations seemed to be just as disconnected sometimes as well. When money is on the line, it can easily become more about shoving "the product" down the throats of teachers/schools than it is about understanding how that product impacts learning. I am very fortunate in having spent time with two very different companies, SMART and Discovery Ed, over the past few weeks. I can’t even compare the two as they were both completely different experiences. Discovery Ed focused more on building relationships with pedagogy interwoven. My experience with Discovery was more about teachers supporting other teachers. It was more about the community itself than Discovery Ed’s media which speaks volumes to their understanding about brand advocacy. Build the community because the most valuable tool in the classroom is the teacher.  SMART focused on teaching about their product and with so many changes in terms of product focus, it was necessary. In addition, SMART’s event united educators from all over the globe. In most of those cases, these educators were receiving training for the very first time as they are THE resource for their country. There were focus groups as well as opportunities for educators to express their thoughts on SMART’s products and direction. They wanted honesty and I can definitely say that we did that. I can also say that SMART listened. I appreciated that. When you have 76 educators from multiple countries leave your building feeling heard and valued, you’ve done something right. Now, that is not to say that SMART did not focus on community. However, instead of having multiple structured community building events, teachers found a way to communicate and do that themselves and this model worked as well. Decisions…Decisions… At the start of this post, I mentioned that I knew when I would leave the classroom. Today, I knew that I have some decisions to make regarding my future in k-12. I love teaching, developing, planning, connecting…learning. I’ve made no moves or decisions. I just have a feeling. It’s the same feeling that I felt when I left the classroom except this one is much stronger. I know that what I have to offer is something that is missing in a lot of places. When you know…you know. Thankfully, I don’t have to figure a thing out right now. My goal for the next year is to serve our kids and teachers at the highest capacity. I will take what I have learned, share and do so with the voices of learners constantly in my ears. I will do so with one idea leading the way… Relationships matter over products.